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How to deal and respond for negativity or negative people

Words make a difference.

Words impact us, especially when they are not complimentary for us. They can make us feel sad, painful or angry. If you are quite sensitive, you will start to think what you could do differently to not bring this opinion. I had it many times, when I put myself out there, I created some video or post or even product and I got ‘feedback’ that it (mean me) sucks. First time it did make me cry, I’m not going to lie, so if you are in this situation, remember it is ok to be upset at the moment.  It’s good to make this first emotion out.

With time I needed to learn a new understanding of this situation and I heard very wise words one day which helped me a lot. People who share those types of opinions, they very often (almost always) reflect how they feel about themselves.

It is nothing related to you. They bring that up on you as it is easier to blame others and look into the mirror. Remember that it works two ways, if you do it to someone, maybe you have some covered and unresolved issue.

Another important message is that you really shouldn’t care about the opinion of people who are not in your arena. If someone is not doing something similar to yourself, how they will know the reality, they look at their own perspective, the lens which is limited. I had it when I decided to become vegan. You won’t believe how many people become nutritionists or doctors overnight to advise me how bad my decision is. Did I listen? No, because they didn’t try this diet, they didn’t know how I prepared to make it happen and most of them didn’t even know me very well so they couldn't understand my reasons. But it was easy for them to write some nasty and public comments. 

You will go through phases on it. Firstly, you can be very sad and you can question why it is on your way, why it happens to you. Secondly, you will get angry and inside you will put a few nasty swear words towards other people. Yes, the emotion will be there. The third phase is laugh. To be honest I feel like I’m in that one at this moment in my life. You just hear or read something and you are like ’really?’. It makes you smile at what people can create and how sad their life needs to be if they write those types of statements towards yourself. The last one is ignoring and being in the ‘I don’t care’ statement. 

To get to this stage it is a process and you need to put a bit of work there yourself. The most important thing is to remember that you are enough and you don’t need to please everyone, that you have many good qualities and remind yourself who you are (only positives here please!). Another point is to remember that you cannot change everyone and cannot control them BUT you can control how you feel about the whole situation and how you will react, in this aspect you have a choice so choose wise. Lastly, I believe that what you give, you receive, so share just good vibes around and it will pay you back. 

"You cannot control others but you can control how you feel."
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